Welcome to the Weiers: Time to get at it!

Hi. I'm Elaina and I am a Carb-aholic. I have eaten so bad today, and by bad I mean a huge bowl of cereal this morning, a sandwich for lunch, Tater-tot hot-dish for dinner and nearly polishing off 2 bags of chips during a movie. In my defense, the size of the chip bags were smaller than the average. With that said, I'm feeling pretty down on myself right now, so much so, that I just partook in a mini workout session, at 11:00 at night in the comfort of my own home. I alternated between crunches and running up and down the stairs over and over again until I couldn't do it anymore. I repeated each "set" 3 times. I realize I probably didn't accomplish much, but I do feel a little better about myself and that's the important thing, right? Lucky for me, we are due to go to the gym tomorrow and although I am by no means an expert and in fact look pretty pathetic when I am trying to figure out how the equipment works and having to call it quits after only six minutes of being on the stair stepper, my level of self-confidence gets a little higher each time I leave. The good news is that Matt is really good about taking the time to show me how things work and pushing me to try new things, even if they seem too difficult. A few weeks ago, when Matt was showing me how to use a machine, which for the life of me I cannot remember the name of; nor do I have the capability of describing it, I noticed a man, who was awkwardly standing about 4 feet away, watching Matt very intently. I felt kind of uneasy about it and in typical Elaina fashion, when things get weird and I get nervous, I talk a lot in an effort to conceal the fact that I feel extremely uncomfortable. So I looked at the guy and asked him (in regards to Matt), "Is he doing that the wrong way?" and he causally said "No. I was just observing." It was in that moment that I realized he was a paid trainer at the Y and he was in the midst of a session. Then to make conversation, I asked him for advice on things that I can be doing to achieve my desired weight and image. He said he would be happy to give me a free training session, and get me set up with a routine that is customized to fit my needs. He then gave me his card with his name and number. Sounds awesome, right? Wrong. I know I shouldn't be, but I am extremely self conscious when I go to the gym and I feel as if everyone is watching and judging me. The time of day that we are usually able to work-out, is usually filled with people. People, who unlike myself are extremely fit and skilled. I am worried that I am not going to catch on to what he is trying to show me and I will do everything wrong and all eyes will be on me. I never feel this way when Matt shows me how to do things, because I have nothing to hide from him and I never feel embarrassed or ashamed in his presence. He knows me so well and he is great at finding ways to teach me new things. He is both patient and enthusiastic about helping me and isn't afraid to push me. The only problem is that he is working to fix different areas of his body than myself and he has been doing the same workout regimen for years. He knows the exercises and machines that will help him achieve his goal, and although he tries, he has a hard to thinking of things that I can do to achieve my goal. Before I take the trainer up on his offer, I want to at least have somewhat of an idea, as to what it is I am doing, so I don't make a complete fool of myself. I know it sounds weird and it's hard to understand, but it's just how I roll. Anyway, because of home renovations and being sick, I haven't gone to work out for a few weeks. On days that Matt goes by himself, the trainer asks about me and seems really keen on the idea of helping me, but like I said before I am just not there yet. On Thursday, to avoid the trainer at all cost, knowing that he typically works in the evening, I made a point to go to the gym in the morning. Just as I was leaving, I heard a man say "Hey!" I looked up and it was him. In my head, I was saying "Oh Crap. Here we go again!" I said hi back and explained to him why I have been absent from the gym and told him that I "lost" his number. So lucky for me, he gave me a new card. Who knew one could be so persistent. Looks like I got myself into a pickle and the only way I can get out of it is to actually call him and set up an appointment. I am absolutely dreading it, but hoping that the humiliation will be worth it in the end, and just maybe I will finally know what the hell I'm doing. So here's to taking a step in the right direction. Wish me luck!

I am going to switch gear and share some snapshots that myself or Matt took of jack today...